Posts about Pets
Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder
Mood Spoiler: Heartwarming & Positive
I accidentally trained my cat to be an eating disorder support pet...
I'm feeling guilty today.
I've had this cat for 3 years now. My Ed got significantly worse about 2 1/2 years ago.
At first, I didn't even realise what she was doing. I had a problem with purging for a long time... She would get between me and the toilet, demanding attention and fuss, while I cried. She would sniff my face and lick it, making it impossible to purge. If I locked her out of the bathroom, she would meow so loudly that I'm sure the neighbors heard.
I finally managed to stop purging last year after recovering and relapsing a few times. The lockdowns have been really difficult, and not being able to go to the gym hasn't helped.
A couple of months ago, my cat stopped eating. She got so skinny, she was really underweight. Vets couldn't find anything wrong, I hadn't changed her food, there was no reason for it.
I'm not sure how it happened... One day, I decided to have breakfast, too. So I sat down with my food and put her bowl next to me. And she finally ATE... I did the same at lunch time. And again, she actually ate.
The same the next day. And the next.
We've been doing it for a while now. She's still underweight, but she's getting there.
I wake up at 7am every day. We have breakfast at 9/9.30. I need those couple of hours to build up to breakfast.
I slept really badly last night. I woke up at 9.10, and I just couldn't do it. Lunch is at 12, I just couldn't eat.
I put Lily's food down by me. She stared at me. Stared at her bowl. Stared at me again. Then walked away.
I'm heartbroken that I couldn't do it for her. She needed me to eat and I let her down...
She finally ate at lunchtime. I had a sandwich. She kept glancing at me, pausing for me to continue before she would eat more.
People say we don't deserve animals.
I don't deserve this cat. She is saving my life, quite literally, and I don't think anyone appreciates or understands how incredible that is.
It's also absolutely terrifying. I don't deserve this cat...
I was trying to reply to everyone, but this took off a whole lot more than I thought it would... I can't believe the awards from everyone, the comments and likes, but most importantly, the massive amounts of support from everyone... Thank you for sharing your stories, your pets, your support, encouragement, and your belief in us to get better. I'm absolutely overwhelmed and I really wish I could thank you all personally ❤️
Please know that I'm reading every comment and will try to reply but I do have therapy today so it may take a while.
Also, we've just had breakfast... Lily had chicken and duck, I had granola and yogurt ❤️
Eta, in case that link isn't working:
Update July 19, '21:
Lily was actually cleared at the vets a few weeks ago but I wanted to wait... Last week was my last eating disorder therapy appointment! So now we have both been cleared... I've also managed to get Lily eating on her own. We both eat regularly but now she doesn't wait for me to start eating first...
I just wanted to update everyone and say thank you so much for your support. It's been more appreciated than you'll ever know ❤️