Family and friends have been so taken aback I actually decided to move and thought I wasn't serious about it. I've expressed desire to move for years and no one ever said anything about it. Suddenly when they realized I was serious (as in, took a flight, found a place, signed a lease), I am always getting these nagging opinions about it and why it doesn't make sense or focusing on all of the negatives. It's incredibly annoying to hear because I made up my mind. "speak now or forever hold your peace" we are on the peace part now. I regret telling people. I should have just done it. I'm sick of listening to these people most who have not even lived anywhere else or went to a large state school where everyone was from everywhere and moving away from the school location has been the default. I finally got my opportunity, got some work experience and have a remote job and this was simply a desire, but it's still not much different. Those who left could have easily stayed and found a job here but did not. If COVID hadn't of happened I would've done it anyways for a job, and may do it for an in person job again anyways.

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6 comments

753

Posted by23 hours ago

2

2

I am in love with my life again

It’s 10pm, I’m aboard the subway and I’m heading home after a day filled with laughter, fun, and lots of good company. The tears are flowing down my face, but as they are, I’m smiling from ear to ear, completely unfazed by the people in this crowded train around me watching.

It didn’t hit me until I boarded this train, I sat down and immediately bursted into happy tears. I didn’t know why at first, but I realized that I felt happiness in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. Maybe it was the people I was hanging out with, or the exam I aced hours before that, or the look on my friends face today when we surprised her in her apartment for her birthday.

Or maybe it’s just me, nothing else. I think I’m crying happy tears because the person I am today took a lot of self love and hard work to get to this point.

I’ve come such a long way since my lowest point half a year ago, I look back at the person I was then versus now and I can’t help but smile at how much I’ve grown. I used to take life day by day and exist rather than live, now I wake up almost every morning feeling whole and ready to take on the world.

Life is so beautiful, I can finally see that clearly for the first time in forever. I’m so proud of myself for how far I’ve come even when the days felt impossible to get through. I’m proud that I stopped counting the days and started making them count instead.

I am in love with the smell of freshly made pizza. I am in love with the loud noises of New York City. I am in love with coffee shop study sessions with my friends. I am in love with nursing school and the chance to heal the sick. I am in love with the amazing people in my life who make me feel wanted.

I am happy, I am complete, I am full, and I am in love with my life again.

753

75 comments

18

Posted by5 hours ago

I’m 7k in debt, being controlled by my psycho dad with my car, can barely afford groceries or rent, about to be fired from my job because they didnt train me, and my husband is a refugee from ukraine working under the table while his country is getting bombed, and he rapes me. How are things for you

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29

Posted by12 hours ago

I confessed to my crush and he said this… what does his reply mean?

We’re close friend for years and I have a silent crush on him for years. I confessed and he told me that “I think it’s better that we stay as friends first”. Is it just me or he phrased it like I have a chance in the future?? Or am I just overthinking and delusional? Btw he hated his last relationship and is afraid to move on to the next one

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25

Posted by12 hours ago

It's 3 am, I'm lying in bed, I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about what I want out of life, and how nostalgic I am for my childhood.

I am a homeschooled only child who moved around a lot as a kid with parents who didn't like each other.

My dad was primarily a commercial fisherman, but he was always finding other gigs around America. We moved a lot. Whenever he was fed up with a job or got fired/laid off, he'd find another, and we'd move again.

When i was young. My mom always said we were going on an adventure. When I got older, I'd work with him. He paid me well, extremely well for a child. Not having friends my age and having what amounted to a full time tutor in my mother made me vastly beyond my peers maturity wise. I graduated a public HS at 16, went in at 15.

What all this resulted in was a man with poor social skills, and a sense of intense unrest when he saw the same people too many times for too long.

My social skills have improved alot since then, I'm 20 now, but Holy shit man... I feel intensely uneasy and restless. I have felt restless for years. I want to move again, to leave. I want to leave here with only a loved one and the skills I need to make money and never look back. I don't want to grind away at some white color job for eternity just to die fucking tired. I want to chase opportunity, and keep moving. Be a part of many other people's story, I want people to wonder, "jee, that guy was just so helpful to me when I needed it, I wonder where he's off to now?"

I want to go on adventures.

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2 comments

3

Posted by3 hours ago

Trying to take things for what they are

I can’t let small things let me get over excited. I can’t let a match on tinder; a number or someone accidentally calling me get my heart racing. These things don’t mean the people will become relevant in your life. These girls may be cute but that’s it. I accept these as facts and not as possibilities. I can’t get over invested. It’s so hard though, my mind really does wish for things to turn into something. I can even feel myself now wanting to check if I got replies. I need a distraction.

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0 comments

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A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like.

Created Feb 6, 2008

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